can't tie this baby down

puyi wasn’t included in the squad list against granada.  he tweeted about watching the game with his friend @javipobla and miki roque.  good news is, both he and pique have already trained normally with the group, and we might see them this weekend against mallorca.

good day, cesc! wig machine! - pique's twitter

pique is up to his usual nonsense of picking on cesc’s hair — this after cesc’s express condition that he will cut his hair once people stop talking about it.  sometime before the next ballon d’or ceremony would be nice.  congratulations to our boys, who made up a whopping 20% of the nominees this year —

10 guys in the short list of 50. excellent.

well, one guy i would’ve wanted on that list is none other than our keeper, the talented mr valdes who is featured in november’s dt magazine together with mrs valdes, yolanda carmona.  yes, what better way to celebrate 7 straight clean sheets and a new personal best of 697 minutes than to pose for some dangerously hot photographs?  here are some samples, and a video of the photoshoot.  ogle away.

can't. breathe. right. now.

i’d like some dylan in the photos next time :)  here’s the link to the photoshoot:  http://www.dtlux.com/video/victor-valdes-yolanda-cardona . there’s also an excerpt from the interview on the website.

before i forget, we won the game 1-0 last tuesday thanks to xavi.

one goal against the second lowest ranking team in the league.  should we be worried?  let’s not right now, still a lot of games to go.  right now we are still third in the table, one point behind madrid and 2 points behind the shining levante.  pep was a little disappointed with the performance, but hopefully we will do better next time.  that game added one more soldier to our injured list –  pedro will be out for about 2 weeks because of strained tendons in his ankle.  ouch.  anims, pedro!

***

lastly, i want to share this piece that had me in stitches the other day — shared by @foodandthefab :)  http://www.foroelcruce.net/t44332-un-dia-en-la-vida-de-guardiola-y-de-mourinho  here’s a translation —

A Day in the Life of Guardiola

6:00am– Like every morning, a goldfinch comes to his window to wake him while singing “Muntanyes Regalades” as it was taught by Pep himself.

6:15am– Pep, who sleeps on the floor because of humility and solidarity with the poor, gets up and kisses the photographs of Gamper, Cruyff and Rafael Casanova.

7:00am – He prepares breakfast for his family and the orphanage at El Raval, using organic products that he himself grew in his
garden.

7:45am – While jogging, he rescues a kitten from a tree, helps an old lady cross the street, and his sweat makes the gardens flourish.

8:30am – After showering with recycled water, he brings his “niñitas” (not Masche and Keita, the other ones) to the school that he helped build with his own hands.

9:30am – Coming home, he calls the Dalai Lama for their daily long conversation.  Then he cleans his chakras and also the entire house.

11:45am – He goes to training.  He could fly on the way there, but he is so humble that he prefers to take a car like any normal human being.

12:00pm– He stops at an atm to get cash and sees that the bank is being robbed.  He talks to the robber and gets him to surrender and open an account at Sabadell.

13:45pm– At the end of training, he gives Tito Vilanova a patch for his eye, sewn and embroidered for him.  The journalists applaud fervently.

14:30pm– He has  lunch and invites the staff and all the workers of Barça;  Pep himself cooks and fills their glasses.

16:00pm– Coming home, he offers to take Busquets to SOS Racismo (where he works) and Messi to a speech therapist (where… well, he takes him there).

16:45pm– He takes advantage of the traffic to solve the Hodge conjecture and compose an opera based on the poems of Mandelstam which he himself translated.

18:00pm– He confirms that he is the only winner of the Euromillon lottery and decides to anonymously donate the 160million to the NGO “Humble guys without borders”.

18:15pm– After helping his “niñitas” (not Masche and Keita, the other ones) with their homewor, He calls the pound to adopt all the animals.

21:00pm– Dinner with the family where, as always, he invites illegal immigrants who then find legal work.

22:15pm– He sends an email to Antonio Miro with the sketches for the upcoming spring-summer collection for bus drivers.

22:30pm– He has a videoconference with Obama, Merkel and George Soros to give his recipe for “butifarra amb mongetes” and advice on the crisis.

23:55pm– He goes down to the Batcave to prepare for if his city needs him tonight, for as he knows very well, evil never sleeps…

A Day in the Life of Mourinho

5:30am – He calls Pedro Leon’s house by an anonymous number to wake him.

7:00am – He eats a light breakfast and exercises to improve the technique of resting his foot on the head of another as if stepping on it.

8:30am – He visits the President of the community to demand that they get a goalie, and hires the Portuguese recommended by Jorge Mendes.

9:15am– He tranfers to Valdebebas.  He runs over two children, but misses an old lady.  He keeps his composure and swears that tomorrow he will not fail.

10:00am – He has a reunion via ouija board with the spirits of Hitler, Bin Laden and the bull that killed Manolete to share experiences and get ideas.

12:00pm– Training begins.  During the 15 minutes open to the media, he requires his players to smile.

12:15pm– Behind closed doors, training begins with live ammunition, like in the marines.  The final minutes are dedicated to training for brawls.

13:30pm– Meeting in the locker room with the players for all of them to repeat a thousand times “Mou is our master” “Mou is the only one we want”

14:00pm– He anonymously calls the police to squeal that Pedro Leon is in reality a dangerous drug dealer.

14:15pm– Light lunch (evil never rests)

14:30pm– Video session.  Today: “Learn to torture with the jailers of Abu Ghraib” and “How we treat reporters at Guantanamo”

17:00pm– Going home, he is stopped by an officer and fined.  He protests loudly that he only speaks to the director and not with
agents.

18:00pm– After slapping his son for following his friend Jorge and not him, he decides to go to Hipercor to buy things.

18:15pm – He falls to his knees in a hallway in Hipercor and starts screaming and crying because there is no wild berry flavored Red Bull.

18:55pm– He leaves Hipercor.  He pays with a card from El Corte Ingles that he stole from Pedro Leon.

20:00pm– He gets very angry at his wife for letting his child have something for dinner without his permission.

21:00pm– He calls Florentino to give the orders for the next day and demands that the Bernabeu be called Mourinho the Great

22:30pm– He goes to bed and reads the book “The Butcher of Milwaukee:  A Misunderstood Hero”

2:30am– He calls Pedro Leon’s wife with an anonymous number, posing as her husband’s lover.

till next time! my next post will be about his weekend’s game🙂

4 responses »

  1. 10 nominated for the golden ball…..WOW!!!! Goes to show that this guys are good at what they do, their hard work is paying off.
    Please no more injuries!!!

    Visca Barca!!!!

    • orangerie says:

      if it were up to me, they’d all be on that list🙂 hope to see our captain against mallorca!

      • Gladys says:

        Wow, we almost have a whole Ballon d’Or squad (if only VV were included). The one especially missing for me…Masche. He’s been a beast lately, but they have to count the whole last season, right? I guess he didn’t get the chance to shine until the spring. Still, impressive.

      • orangerie says:

        i agree, masche has been just majestic as our cb, and he’s always so humble about his work. i’d like to see him play in the midfield again, with puyi + pique in defense. am excited about today’s game — medical green light for both of them!

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